Dog Rules for House Guests
You are welcome to visit my house as long as you abide by the rules.
1. Do not expect that they will put me outside during your visit.
2. My house. My fur. My dander. If you have allergies, take a pill or stay away.
3. If you don’t want hair on your clothes, don’t sit on the “fur”-niture.
4. My ears and tail are not toys for your children.
5. Anything dropped on the floor is mine after 1 second.
6. During dinner I will lie quietly under the chair of the messiest eater.
7. That thing where you pretend to throw something and then hide it behind your back…not funny.
8. The spot in front of the door is reserved for me. Walk around.
9. When it comes to protecting my family against outsiders, I have no sense of humor. You are an outsider. Keep that in mind.
1. Do not expect that they will put me outside during your visit.
2. My house. My fur. My dander. If you have allergies, take a pill or stay away.
3. If you don’t want hair on your clothes, don’t sit on the “fur”-niture.
4. My ears and tail are not toys for your children.
5. Anything dropped on the floor is mine after 1 second.
6. During dinner I will lie quietly under the chair of the messiest eater.
7. That thing where you pretend to throw something and then hide it behind your back…not funny.
8. The spot in front of the door is reserved for me. Walk around.
9. When it comes to protecting my family against outsiders, I have no sense of humor. You are an outsider. Keep that in mind.
While you are here I am not supposed to
Jump up and lick your face
Sniff your crotch
Eat grass and barf
Hunch your leg
Lick my balls
Use your lap for a towel
Please keep in mind my sacrifices and obey the rules.
Sincerely,
The dog
~Author Unknown~
